To Market, to Market to Buy a Fat Pig

The Chew Team - Please hold my book up Mario

If there is one negative aspect to writing and self-publishing,  that I quite freely admit to, is that I am just plain lousy at marketing. With five books listed on Amazon you would think I have this whole “Please buy my book!” begging thing down pat. Wrong-o! I do believe I would get more notice if I left copies of the books in various restaurant washrooms across the country (especially in the publisher’s ghetto in New York city). It is just plain hard, I'd rather talk about myself and writing.

From the first moment we decided to self-publish we knew that the issue of getting the books in front of a willing buying public would be difficult. With all the chatter and clatter in the book world today, being seen, heard or even read is difficult. While I am not too far above pulling a publicity stunt or two (see above), the time and effort is all consuming. I would rather write.

I found it sadly interesting that earlier this year when Smashwords (an online publishing site for self-publishing) invited me to be a part of their promotional venture where for a set period (I believe it was a week) my work could be purchased for free. Over a hundred were “sold.” Since then almost nothing. The only aspect that would have been better was if they offered it as a two-for-one sale. As a writer your ego can suffer a lot, but when the base line is free I scratch my head. So since Fifty Shades of Grey started out as a self-published ebook (probably for free – the best price for sex), I am going to add more kinky sex to all my stories. I am sure that the two redheads in my life will go along with that (Sharon and my CFO).

Short of setting myself on fire in Times Square on a stack of my 4 Death books, the push over the next six months will be marketing or at least trying to figure a way to put the book in front of more reader’s eyes. All sorts of friends in the business have suggested Facebook, LinkedIn or Goodreads. Maybe they all have a part, maybe I should be looking for online washrooms.

Each has their advantages but all are serious time sinks where hours can be invested, but to what end? I was thinking that a few years ago stalking Oprah, or at least her producer, would have been appropriate and productive (it was the air fare part that was the killer and also maybe her personal “assistants”). Now my goal should be the new show called The Chew.

Goal: Get Mario Batali to hold up my latest O’Mara thriller, Toulouse 4 Death – it has a great chase scene through Paris. A few good places to eat are also mentioned. In fact Sharon O’Mara is not only a hot chick with a gun but can she can cook too. So there marketing department, go with this and let me know how it worked out!

More later . . . .